I have recently spoken to several young woman (under 30) in a financial coaching capacity and there has been a real pattern on the calls in regards to how they view themselves. Now, I am not saying this observation is in any way true of all woman, but it was for the three I spoke to and made me curious to how young people feel about themselves in regards to money.
There was a strong negative self-talk surrounding how they viewed themselves on handling money, progress not being rapid enough and being very hard on themselves when they viewed themselves as making a "mistake".....
Most of the financial coaching sessions were around talking through these feelings and to try and instill more positive dialogue towards themselves, and to congratulate themselves for making progress, such as clearing high-cost debts, buying a first home or working towards a three month sabbatical to go and explore the world. "Celebrate the small wins, not just the big ones", I told them, as well as we need to work on changing your thoughts, as these leads to feelings, then actions or inaction.
They also seemed to compare themselves to others a lot too, which is not beneficial in any way for anybody of any age.
My conversations with young men have been different, lots more getting on with things and appearing more confident, less reflective but could this be because men find it more difficult to be open about things ? Traditionally, I would say this was more true, but I've been hearing that has changed, although I haven't experienced much of it myself, in coaching.
My concern would be the pressure , that both young men and women feel surrounding money and showing life progress as measured by society, is enormous. The person we speak to most on a daily basis is ourselves, and if that dialogue is mostly negative around money, then we'll likely have a negative relationship with it. This dialogue creates mental health issues and low self-esteem and confidence.
My message would be and has been to younger clients, be kind to yourself. You are doing the right things and having financial coaching at a young age will help no end. Also, making mistakes is ok and part of life as long as we learn. Patience and consistency are the keys to good money behaviours and to stop comparing yourself to others as you do not fully know their story and things may look one way but are completely different in reality.
Be your own person and work out what matters to you and your life. It is a good place to reset money beliefs and views that do not serve you.
